Until Daylight
by Chris Anthony
Summary: Kate wished for Sawyer to come back after the raft set sail, but not like this. As Sawyer struggles to survive, she realizes her love for him. S,K Oneshot.


I do not own "Lost" or the characters Sawyer, Kate, and Jack. This contains spoilers for "Collision"

Chapter 1- Until Daylight

Sawyer's teeth chattered noisily together as he was brought into the shower. He tried to reach out for something to hold onto as the water crashed down onto his chest, but he was too weak. An expression of agony creased his face, as the water came in contact with the bullet wound in his arm. He threw his head back in suffering, hitting the shower wall. A weak groan escaped his mouth, and then he rotated his head downwards. Someone reached out and turned off the shower, and then Sawyer felt himself being picked up. He didn't know where he was being taken to, but at the moment he was too distraught to even care. His stomach rose slowly as he struggled to fill with his burning lungs with oxygen. The person that was carrying Sawyer rested him down on what felt like a bed. Sawyer reached out for something to hold onto, his hand clutched onto a shirt. He weakly opened his eyes to make out Jack looking back at him in concern. Sawyer tried to open his mouth to speak. But his mouth was too dry, and his teeth were chattering too much to be able to form a coherent sentence. He needed to see Kate. When no words came out of his mouth, Sawyer grabbed onto Jack's shirt tighter. Despite his pain, Sawyer was pleading for Jack to find Kate, and bring her to him. However, Jack didn't seem to understand, and reached out for Sawyer's hand, gently placing it down on the bed.

"I need you to relax," Jack said gently.

Sawyer shivered violently once again. His head jolted upwards, and then fell back against the pillow. His face contorted into an expression of pain, and for the first time a gut wrenching yell escaped his throat. Jack placed his hands on his arms trying to keep him down, but Sawyer continued to struggle. Sawyer felt himself starting to convulse, shaking like a leaf without control over his own body. His arms flailed outwards, his feet kicked at the air, and his head jerked from side to side violently.

Kate stepped back into the room. Fear swallowed her whole as she watched Sawyer struggle. She gripped onto the glass of water tighter, and the medicine and then speed walked over to Jack. "What's wrong with him? Is he going to be okay?" Kate asked with wide eyes.

Sawyer tried to pry open his eyes to look at Kate, but consciousness was starting to slip away from him. The room started to grow dark, as Sawyer felt his mouth drop open and his eyes flutter helplessly in the grips of death. His body relaxed and his hands collapsed against the sheets.

"Jack, what's happening!" Kate screamed.

Sawyer snapped out of it when he heard the longing and hurt in Kate's voice. It seemed as if she didn't want him to die, and that little bit of hope gave him something to fight for. Sawyer swallowed weakly as he tried to open his mouth once more, his attempts were futile, but he did manage to turn his head in Kate's direction.

"Did you bring the medicine?" Jack asked struggling to ignore the look of sympathy and care that was painted across Kate's face.

Kate tore her eyes away from Sawyer, and then focused on Jack with teary eyes. "Yes, here…here you go."

Jack accepted the medicine from Kate, he watched her for a couple of seconds longer, and then focused back on the ailing Sawyer in front of him.

As Kate watched Jack try to talk Sawyer into taking the medicine, she slipped her hand inside of Sawyer's. He responded by giving her hand a gentle squeeze with his clammy, and shaking hands.

Warmth overwhelmed Sawyer as he felt Kate bring his hand to her mouth. The softness of her lips brought a brief sense of comfort to his tortured body.

"Help me sit him up," Jack said urgently to Kate, who was lost in thoughts about Sawyer.

"I got him," Kate replied positioning herself right behind Sawyer, and then pulling him up towards her. She planted her hands firmly underneath his arms and then gave him another quick kiss on top of his head. "What are you waiting for Jack?" Kate asked in a shaky tone as she watched Sawyer flinch.

Sawyer squeezed his eyes shut, and grabbed onto the sheets as Kate held him tighter towards her. Kate's presence was helping him to find the will to survive. Whenever the pain grew to be too much, he tried to concentrate on her. Sawyer's head collapsed against Kate's soft shoulder. Something wet slid down his face, which he assumed to be Kate's tears because her chin was resting right against his forehead.

Sawyer loved Kate, and it was a shame that he could never admit it until now. If only he hadn't been so stubborn before he left on the raft, and at least said goodbye to her. Sawyer's thoughts slipped away from him momentarily as he felt Jack open his mouth.

"I need you to swallow the medicine Sawyer," Jack said sternly to him.

Sawyer's head weakly rolled down Kate's arm. He felt her gently cup his face in her hand, and bring his head back to rest against her shoulder. Sawyer didn't want to die like this, he didn't want to die with the reputation he had as the most hated man on the island, and especially not all alone.

Jack placed the pill into Sawyer's mouth, and then tilted his head backwards for him to drink some water. Sawyer gagged, and spit the water back up along with the pill. Coughs escaped his sore throat as he shot forward, trying to signal to Jack that he didn't have the energy to swallow the medicine.

Kate looked on in fear and watched as Jack silently cursed to himself. She reached out her hand. "Let me do it,"

Jack looked back at her in surprise. "No, I got it,"

"Let me try," Kate repeated. Jack hesitated at first and then handed her the glass of cold water, and the pill.

Sawyer felt Kate pull him back towards her. His pain seemed to decrease whenever he was in his arms. His stomach rose slowly as he felt Kate place her hand underneath his chin. She sat up straighter, and then brought his head upwards. Sawyer knew he couldn't take the medicine, not even for Kate. He let out a small whimper as the pain surged throughout his body once again. He was too weak.

Kate rested her head against his cheek.

Sawyer found comfort in the feel of her cheek against his skin which was flushed with fever. Kate then brought her lips close to his ear, and started to whisper softly as if she was telling him a lullaby.

"Listen to me Sawyer…"

He jerked forward.

Kate gently stroked his cheek, running her hand along his dark stubble. "I need you to take this medicine…you need it to get better, and…" There was a pause, "I'm not going to let you die. So please Sawyer, please, try and swallow it."

Sawyer's lips tingled as Kate pulled his top and bottom lip apart. His heart rate slowed, and his stomach started to rise less frequently. Swirls of darkness overcast his vision, and he started to feel the warmness of Kate's body drift further and further away.

"Sawyer, please," Kate begged.

In the back of his mind, he saw her. Standing in the woods and looking back at him in pity that day Sayid had tortured him. Kate had come to collect Shannon's medicine, but he knew that she had also come to see how he was doing.

"Sawyer,"

That day they had kissed Sawyer had realized it then. He had at once thought he was incapable of love, but Kate had woke up feelings inside of him that he never thought he had. The feelings that Kate had aroused in him scared him, and he didn't know how to deal with it, so he had went into denial. Trying to convince himself that Kate was no different than any other girl he had been with, and that he didn't love her, even though he knew that was a lie.

Kate placed the pill on his tongue, and held his mouth open as she brought the glass of water closer to his mouth. "I'm just asking you to take this one, you can do it Sawyer, I know you can,"

Sawyer shuddered at the feel of the cold water down his throat. He felt the pill start to come back up again with the water, but he fought the urge to spit it back out. Kate wrapped her arms around him tighter and started to rock him back and forth.

"That's it, that's it," She said soothingly. Her hand rested against his forehead pushing his bangs backwards as she laid a loving kiss on his forehead. He coughed violently once again. Kate wrapped her arms tighter around him, "I got you Sawyer, I got you."

"I wasn't taught to whisper in a patient's ear in medical school," Jack replied sarcastically. He got up after trying to force a smile, and then left the room.

Kate watched after him in guilt, and then shifted her eyes back to Sawyer.

The bed gave way, and Sawyer knew that Jack had left. He feared that Kate would follow after Jack, but she hadn't. Her arms were now tighter around him more than ever, rocking him back and forth, and also protecting him from death which was breathing down his neck.

* * *

Kate looked down at Sawyer with sad eyes. "I'm not going anywhere,"

Sawyer shivered in her arms. His hands gripped onto the sheets as he uncomfortably twisted and turned. A moan of agony escaped his throat.

Kate held him in fear. "I'm here,"

Sawyer groaned again.

Tears streamed down her cheek. Through blurry eyes she glanced down at the bandage that was wrapped around Sawyer's infected wound. She shook her head as she watched him struggle in pain. If only she had been there when he had gotten shot, she would've taken the bullet for him. Surely Sawyer deserved to live more than she did. Kate traced her hands against Sawyer's lips, and then she tilted her head to the side. She loved him, and she wasn't going to allow him to die. A sob escaped her throat as she watched Sawyer writhe in anguish. He seemed to be fighting for her to let him go, but Kate grabbed onto him tighter. She brought her head onto his face, and whispered against his cheek, centimeters away from his mouth.

"I never got the chance to say goodbye to you…"

Sawyer murmured something she couldn't understand.

Kate's tears stained his pale cheeks. She reached out for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I don't usually pray, but I did that day. I prayed that by some miracle you would stay…" Kate wiped at her tears on his face, as she tried to force a smile. "And I even went as far as to hope that the raft idea wouldn't work, and that you, Michael, Walt and Jin would have to come back." A saddened laugh escaped her throat. "I was being selfish, and I guess I didn't care that you told me there was nothing worth staying for here. I wanted you here with me anyways whether you loved me or not, and I guess I got my wish." Kate's eyebrows furrowed low over her eyes as she watched the man she loved suffer. "I wanted you back here, but not like this." Her shaking hands traced his cheekbones, and then his dimples which she had grown to love so much. "I'm so guarded with my emotions, and especially with you, I didn't want to be hurt." Kate tilted her head to the side as she watched Sawyer relax. "I never knew how you felt about me, I assumed that you cared, but I never knew for sure. But I always felt something for you…"

Sawyer weakly reached out for Kate's hand. His eyes fluttered open, and he tried to make her out. His vision was blurry and he was too weak to respond but he could make out the expression of love she was giving him. His eyes started to close once again, but Kate brought her face closer, resting her nose against his.

"I love you Sawyer, and you can't…" Kate placed her hand over her mouth.

Sawyer struggled to gather up all the energy he had left. He opened his eyes weakly and looked back at Kate, the pain was starting to invade his body once again, but he tried to ignore it, because he needed to focus on the one thing that he cared about. "I…"

Kate jerked back in shock. She narrowed her stunning jade eyes back at him hopefully.

Sawyer struggled to speak. Just opening his mouth alone took a great deal of energy, but he had to tell Kate that he loved her just in case he did die tonight. "I…" His voice came out in a croak.

"Don't try to speak, just save your energy," Kate whispered into his ear. She brought one hand behind his head, and started to run her hands through his tangled locks soothingly. "Just save your energy," She repeated.

"I…love…"

Kate stopped.

"You," Sawyer finished with a groan.

Kate blinked as her eyes started to brim with tears. She placed a hand to her trembling mouth, and breathed in a deep breath. Tears streamed down her cheeks like a river, and she felt her hands start to hold onto Sawyer tighter. "I love you too Sawyer. And I always have."

Sawyer closed his eyes slowly drifting off to sleep.

Kate kissed his forehead, and then his mouth tenderly. "I'll be here when you wake up, you can count on that. Whether it's tomorrow afternoon, or in the night, I'm not going anywhere."


End file.
